Sunday, January 27, 2008

Apathetic Way To Be

I am currently suffering from ennui. I am not depressed or sad or anything like that, I just feel melancholy. And I am bored, oh, so bored. I miss having a large group of friends. Don't get me wrong, I am very content with my small circle, but I have been feeling lonely the past few weeks. It is mostly my fault as I don't make very much effort to change this state of being, but the ennui is prohibiting any effort that I would make.

Work has been hard so far this year. I have been feeling overwhelmed and under-appreciated. Every month, our company does random surveying of five families, and this months' were bad. A few family members ripped into my department for stupid reasons (one being that we didn't have a wii for the residents yet) and it hit harder than usual for some reason. I give my all to my job, and it just doesn't seem like it is enough. I even feel like my staff is disappointed in me. And, people keep dying! I know that this is normal for my job, especially this time of year, but it is hard to not be affected by it. Hopefully all this work stuff and ennui is just the January blahs, and therefore will only last for one more week.

School started a few weeks ago. I am only taking two classes, and one of them is snowboarding. It is a pretty fun class, and I am basically getting one on one instruction so I am learning a lot. But, this last week, I fell hard on my first run of the day and bruised my tailbone. I have not been able to sit comfortably since!:(