Resumes: A cry for help!

Who invented the resume? Whoever it was should be shot. I think that interviews should all be done telepathically. It would cut out a lot of stress. I am applying for a promotion within my company, and writing this resume is so hard! Especially since two of my last three jobs have been within the company, so I can't lie about my achievements. That is basically what resumes and interviews are. A collection of lies:)! If any of you out there are really good at stuff like this, or if you have any pointers, please let me know! I will take any advice or tips. Thanks so much!