Infomercials

Why is it that stuff on TV looks so much cooler at 2 in the morning? The other night, I was having the hardest time sleeping, so I turned on the television. Big mistake. The first thing I saw was one of those Bullet Chopper things. It was all I could do to not call in and order it. I mean, everyone needs a little 8 ounce jar that you can throw little tomatoes and peppers in to make salsa!!! How did I ever live without this machine? I gathered all my will and changed the channel only to discover another infomercial. This one was Jessica Simpson trying to get people to buy Proactiv Solution. Not my cup of tea, so I changed it again. This time I hit the jackpot. One of the oldest infomercials that I have seen. It is that guy who tries to sell every kitchen appliance known to man. The one who wears the same apron no matter what product he is trying to push... it says RONCO really big on the front. This particular time, he was trying to reach into my subconscious to get me to buy one of those rotisseries. I don't even eat red meat, and yet I wanted one of those so badly! By this time, I start to get a little drowsy, but I can't sleep! I must fight the desire to shut my eyes!!!! In the end, sleep overcame me, and Mr. Ronco lost out on a sale. Pity.

Old Ladies And Their Bingo

What is the obsession that ladies over the age of 70 have with BINGO? I do activities at an assisted living care center, and we have to schedule bingo at least three times a week. And, let me tell you, it can sure get vicious. One of the main prizes that we give out is toilet paper. We can barely keep it in stock! And, the numbers have to be called a certain way, or the caller gets yelled at. The caller has to yell the numbers really loud and repeat them a couple times in order for everyone to hear them. Even then, questions get asked quite frequently. It is actually kind of fun to put our first time volunteers on bingo calling duty to see if they can hack it:). Anyway.... every couple months, we have a family bingo tournament when my resident's kids, grandkids, great-grandkids, etc.... come in and play. This was the case tonight. We give away nicer prizes than toilet paper, but we still had a few people ask if they could have some:). Don't get me wrong, I have the best job in the world. I mean, not everyone gets paid to sit around and play bingo. But, sometimes, I just want to take those bingo cards and chips and have a massive bonfire. It would be great! I could do some kind of tribal dance that signifies the end of war, because inevitably, that is what all bingo games turn into. Then again, good can come of this game. My parents won three thousand dollars playing it on a cruise ship. They then proceeded to take that money and take the kids to Disneyland. And then there is...... um....... I am sure that there are other positive things about this game. If I think of any, I will surely let you know!

My American Idol Gripe

Can someone please explain the concept of American Idol to me? Don't get me wrong.... I think it is kind of nifty that there is one television show out there that appeals to the masses. Heck, my mom watches it. I didn't think my mother was capable of watching shows that didn't either have Dick Van Dyke or Billy Ray Cyrus in them. I think she might have a fetish for men who go by three names. Anyway, people endure intense humiliation in the auditions. The lucky ones who don't get made fun of in the beginning, go on to have people telling them what to wear, what to sing, and how to act, in order to be a *STAR*. And, if they get kicked off in the middle to late stages, they have to deal with the fact that it wasn't just three people who think they suck, it is all of America. I understand that part of the show. It is basically the human drive for fame and fortune. People can take embarrassment. Why else would there be Fear Factor? What I don't get is the voting process. I thought that a person could only call in and vote once. As I recently found out, you can call AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT!!!! This makes no sense to me at all!!! It is like voting for a politician, and being able to go back to the poll and vote again and again for the same person, or heck, pick someone else. The season finale was on tonight. I hate to admit it, but I watched it. I forwent watching my two favorite shows (Lost and Alias) to try and figure out what all the fuss was about. Thanks the heavens above for TiVo........... I did discover something in that two hour span of time. Ryan Seacrest is such a tease!:) How many commercial breaks does one show need to have? Although, after watching, I guess now I can kind of see why people like it. Maybe I just liked seeing BabyFace, Kenny G, and Lynard Skynard (among others) on the same stage. I don't know. I still think the voting system should change.

The Magic Number 3

Has anyone else ever noticed that everything bad in life seems to happen in threes? A few co-workers and I were discussing this phenomenon earlier. I work at an assisted living care center, and we are going through a wave of people dying. And they always die in threes. When we have two people die within one week of each other, there is always speculation of who will go next. Is that morbid? I have been analyzing this for a while now. Natural disasters always seem to happen in threes. Unfortunate accidents, tests in school, companies in the same area going out of business, family crisis, etc..... I was wondering if there is some kind scientific explanation, if it is superstition, or if it is some result from a deep seeded psychological belief. Hmmmmm. Maybe I should contact a numerologist somewhere. Is there such a thing? I just finished the Da Vinci Code and that introduced me to the profession of a Symbologist. I guess anything is possible right? :)